Ten Things Not To Do On Facebook

1. Never 'like' your own status message. The fact that you've put it up tells the rest that you love what you've written anyway.

2. If you have nothing to say, don't torture the rest with status messages like "X is bored", or "....". Facebook allows you to have no status message. Why infect others with your boredom unnecessarily?

3. Showing off is not what Facebook was made for. Status messages notifying your friends which laptop/mobile phone you just bought or which car you just drove can only lower your stock.

4. Quizzes. Take as many as would satisfy your freakish hunger, but spare your poor friends from reading the results of "Which body part are you?" or "What kind of sex are you?". It's not what they log on for.

5. Links are good. But spamming, no. It's understandable you want everyone to see what you've posted, but once on someone's wall is more than enough. Don't force the rest to "hide" you.

6. Steer clear of the "Write something about yourself" section while making your profile. There's absolutely nothing you can write there that would make you look good.

7. It's nice to be romantic, but in private. Exchanging mushy statements on Facebook can only make the other 300+ people reading it uncomfortable.

8. Why write something on Facebook that noone can understand? If it's that baffling or something known only to you, keep it to yourself and spare everyone the temporary bewilderment.

9. Many people have mastered the art of the profile picture. The cool, unfazed and carefree glance into the distance, as if you have no idea a photo is being clicked at that very moment. But as the politicians will tell you, the aam junta is smart these days, and can call your bluff.

10. The "Yo" pose for a photograph is also a thing of the past. However, it can still be used for comic relief. Refer to Ankur Sinha or YNV Bharat's pictures on how to master the use the pose for such purposes.

Disclaimer: This piece, strangely enough, does not necessarily reflect the views of the author. It's just a result of persistent boredom, and an attempt at cynicism. No comment is aimed at any individual, living or dead. If it seems so, it's purely co-incidental. Also, the author realizes he himself has violated many of the above postulates. :-)